Hair Club Concerned About Civil Liberties Impact of Fox's '24'

News Parody Releases
Thursday, January 30, 2007

Hair Club Concerned About Civil Liberties Impact of Fox's '24'

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

HAIR CLUB CONCERNED ABOUT CIVIL LIBERTIES IMPACT OF FOX'S '24'

(WASHINGTON, D.C., 1/30/07) - One of the world's most widely recognized hair loss treatment providers today expressed concern that the new story line on Fox's "24" terror drama may have a negative impact on the national debate over civil liberties.

The Hair Club for Men said the explosion of a nuclear device near Los Angeles at the end of the most recent episode of "24", and subsequent attacks on CTU agents, including Jack Bauer (portrayed by Kiefer Sutherland) by balding Americans, including Bauer's own brother, Graem (portrayed by Paul McCrane) may also serve to increase prejudice against men with balding and thinning hair in American society.

In a statement, the group said:

"The raw emotional impact of fictional scenes that include widespread death and destruction in America may adversely affect the public's attitude toward civil liberties and freedom of choice for one's scalp. The program's repeated association of acts of terrorism with balding men will only serve to increase prejudice against men with balding and thinning hair in our society.

"We have communicated the concerns of the American Balding Man's community about this season's story line to Fox officials and will work with the network to help viewers distinguish between televised fiction and actual world events."

In response to similar concerns about a "24" story line two years ago, Fox aired a public service announcement that featured Kiefer Sutherland urging viewers to avoid stereotyping Muslims.

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Hair Club is one of the world's most widely recognized hair loss treatment providers. Our work has been highlighted through several news media, such as NBC and The New York Times. Hair Club is a wholly owned subsidiary of Minneapolis-based Regis Corp. (NYSE: RGS); the largest hair salon operator in the world. Making you look and feel good is at the heart of all our businesses. Some of our more famous brands include Supercuts, Mastercuts, Smartstyle, Cost Cutters, Jean-Louis David and Vidal Sassoon.


- END NEWS PARODY -

Name That Christianist!

Here's the quote:

The President had exerted his most fervent efforts to persuade [the ambassador], newly restored to favor by the turn of events, to accept the phrase, 'religious freedom'. He was invited to luncheon with us in the President's room on purpose.

and yet more...

Later on the President had a long talk with him alone about his soul and the dangers of hell-fire.

Wow. Just...wow. An American President...proselytizing to a foreign minister.

Can you Name That Christianist?

Answer: It's Franklin Delano Roosevelt, spreading that good old Christian fervor to Soviet Ambassador Maxim Litvinov, as described in Winston Churchill's The Second World War, Vol. III, Chapter 36. Churchill went on to say that, had Roosevelt lost the election in 1944, this incident was enough to recomend Roosevelt to the King to be the next Archbishop of Canterbury.

Risky behavior

Woman held over skydive death

Police in Belgium have arrested a woman over the death of a skydiver who plunged 13,000 feet to her death last year.

Els Clootemans, 22, is accused of plotting to kill 37-year-old Els Van Doran during a joint sky-dive from an airfield in Zwarteberg, Belgium on November 18.

Ms Van Doren, was jumping with Clootemans, Clootemans's Dutch boyfriend Marcel and a fourth parachutist.

...

Police believe somebody had tampered with Ms Van Doren's parachute and they later discovered Ms Van Doran was having an affair with Clootemans's partner and arrested her following a two-month investigation.

So, let's count the risky behaviors, shall we?

First: skydiving, which by itself is a risky behavior.

Second: having an affair. always risk that someone could find out. and it could be the wrong person.

Third: skydiving with the wrong person from point (2).

Reminder to self: never have an affair, and never skydive with someone who is.

Boys, stop arguing or I'm turning the Peace Train around!

who will Mother Sheehan side with?

what's a terrible message?

Courtesy the AP, I provide you with cluelessness incarnate:

NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana (AP) -- In a city where tourism and conventions are key to reviving a post-Katrina economy, the murder spree that has opened the year is adding financial anxiety to the heartache and fear.

With Mardi Gras just over a month away, nine killings in the first eight days of the new year had tourism officials scrambling to convince visitors not to skip the city's biggest party.

...

Discussion of a possible curfew for the city -- including the French Quarter where many bars are open 24 hours a day -- would only add to the woes of the business community.

"We're very much opposed to a curfew," said Earl Bernhardt, president of the Bourbon Street Alliance, a merchants organization. "For one thing, it would send a terrible message nationwide that would hurt us more than the murder rate. It would look like it was totally unsafe to be on the streets after dark."

(my bold in the quotation above).

Mr. Bernhardt, a simple thought on my part. Nine killings in eight days sends a terrible message nationwide. It says that the streets of New Orleans are unsafe after dark. The inability of New Orleans to take practical steps to curb such crime sends a message that you're really not serious about dealing with the crime. And that will do more to keep people away from Mardi Gras (and from resettling in New Orleans) than you can imagine.

Why? Because...

...there are so many more Democrats in DC now, that getting on Olbermann is going to require that extra touch of vitriol.
UPDATE (1209 MT): Even more extry vitriol.